Introduction (Excerpt from the program / E-book)
Picture a snowy, icy mountain. Think of the mountain as a social scale where the bottom of the
mountain is where we all start out when we are born. The top of the mountain represents the
best that social interaction can do for you. The top represents things like making lasting and real
connections with all sorts of people, friends and lovers. It also includes greater happiness, a
feeling of belonging in this world and greater understanding of oneself.
All of us start out at the bottom, slowing tracking up the snowy mountain in an effort to reach
the top. We, humans, are extremely social creatures and we all naturally want to reach the top or
get as high as we can go (at least at the beginning). Keep in mind again that the top means all
those good feelings as well as greater potential for real connections among others.
So we all started our track up the icy mountain, happy and eager to see how far we can climb
and how well we can do. We eventually got to a dangerous point on the mountain where we
slipped and fell down momentarily.
For some people, it didn't bother them too much at all. They causally got back up and kept their
eyes on reaching the top. They viewed the fall as an opportunity to learn and figure out what
path works best and what doesn't. Falling down, simply meant that it was a challenge to be
overcome. An experience that would eventually help the person understand the layout of the
mountain so they could continue to try to reach the top. They realize that falling down was just
part of the climb, but the real reward was still the top of the mountain. Getting to the top was
more important than the occasional pain of falling down.
Then there were some of us that were more shaken up when we fell down. It bothered us more
significantly. There was so much pain in falling down that it caused us to temporarily lose sight
of the top of the mountain and stop and see what why we were falling down and what we could
to do prevent such pain. Time and time again, we still fell down and the intense frustration and
pain continued to rise. Our focus shifts from the top of the mountain to our immediate spot on
the cliff. We might try to adjust our shoes or maybe we try to switch shoes (with a better grip) in
an effort to stop from falling down. The frustration continues to rise as does our focus on each
individual step. We focus intently on trying to analyze and figure out why we falling and why it
causing so much pain.
This is the start of social anxiety. The focus is now on the pain of falling down instead of looking
to the top of the mountain - We are trying everything in our power to make sure we don't fall
down or slip and cause more pain.
Sadly, after a while we eventually start to realize that standing still actually stops us from falling
over. If we don't move, how can we fall? So some of us prefer to stand still. It's so long now that
and we've even started to forget the reason why the top is so great. All that matters right now is
to make sure we don't fall over. Deep down, we tell ourselves that once we figure out how to
stop from falling over then we can try again to make bigger strides towards the top.
Standing still is the real life equivalent of social avoidance. Avoiding going to social get-
togethers or meeting people or just going that extra mile to be social with someone. We are so
afraid of falling down that we have simply figured out that standing still will stop us from falling.
Falling is so painful, that we've practically forgotten the reason for going to the top.
Of course we can't avoid all social interaction, so we have to move our feet on that slope every
so often. We move a bit, here and there and eventually we slip and fall again despite such an
effort to keep steady. We get so mad at falling over that we double and triple our focus on our
steps and shoes in sheer effort to stop the pain of falling down. We might try to change our shoes
again or we might just do everything in our power to just stand still.
The strange thing is that the more we focus on changing our shoes or trying to keep steady, the
more we actually fall over. It doesn't seem to make sense to us! We are trying so hard to put on
the best shoes possible and watch every single step, yet we still end up falling and slipping. But
what's even worse is that the more we try to stop it, the more we fall over. How can that be
possible? We get so mad at ourselves for falling over and we keep telling ourselves that we are
an idiot or a fool for slipping after trying so hard. We then focus even more attention in a greater
effort to stop from falling, yet you continue to fall time after time. The more effort we put into it
the more likely we end up falling. We alternate between getting mad at ourselves, then feeling
sad that we are so powerless to stop ourselves from falling over to eventually avoidance so we
can stop all the pain for a while.
This is social anxiety at its heart.
The more we try to stop from falling, the more we fall.
Shouldn't we be steadier the more we watch our steps?
The 1st part of that answer is that we can't control the mountain. There may be a very icy spot
that is just impossible to cross no matter what shoes we can put on. Just like in real life, no
matter what we do, there will always be someone that doesn't like what you say or do or just
doesn’t like you for some reason or another. There is nothing you can do about that.
That might explain why falling is inevitable, but it still doesn't explain why it seems to be that the
more we try to stop from falling, the more we fall.
The reason behind that is that when we get mad at ourselves for falling down or in other words
for being too shy or too scared or for making a social mistake, we create anxiety. That anxiety is
there to try to stop pain from happening (from falling down). The thing with social anxiety is that
most of what we are actually mad about is things like being so shy or being so scared or not
being able to say or do what we want. All those things are basically social anxiety itself. So in
other words we are giving ourselves anxiety in order to try to fix anxiety. You can never fix
something with itself. All that does in just create more anxiety which is the thing that makes us
fall to begin with (getting mad at being shy or scared). So the more effort we put into making
sure our step on the mountain is steady, the more we actually fall. It's a viscous trap, but it is a
trap we can get ourselves out of.
The essence of recovery from social anxiety is to know the difference between focusing on your
footsteps and on the top of the mountain. One will create anxiety; the other will create positive
desire (opposite of anxiety) which will eventually overcome the need to worry about every step.
It's a two part-process. It starts with the need to minimize the desire to focus on every step and
avoid falling down and to increase the good desire to help switch from something negative to
something positive. This program will help lower that bad desire and help increase that good
desire to a point where social anxiety is no longer a problem.
It’s much more than that though. It will get you to a point where you desire the challenge of
social interaction, where social difficulty is a means to bettering yourself and your place in the
world. This is where greater happiness and feeling of greater belonging in this world will start to
blossom. If that sounds too foreign or unrealistic, then you are certainly not alone. When your
focus is on the every step on that mountain and you continue to fall down, the top of the
mountain becomes a cruel illusion - an impossibility. How could we ever reach the top when we
can't even make sure our steps are solid? It's the anxiety trap we fall into where we believe the
only way out is to focus more and more on our steps. Yet all that does is make us fall down even
more. We've forgotten what the goal actually is and how to refocus our attention on what will
help us out the most. All we care about is not falling and anything that will stop us from falling.
This program will help you change from someone who continually tries to hide or change things
about themselves in order to stop from being embarrassed or socially hurt. In terms of the social
mountain, it will help you stop from focusing on adjusting and changing your shoes and never
moving to making significant progress up the mountain. Social desire and social happiness might
seem illusionary, but once you are finished with this program, you will realize that the only
illusion is social anxiety itself. Greater happiness, fulfillment and belongingness are right there in
front of you for the taking. All you need is a little guidance and understanding to achieve it.
If you like what you've read and would like to immediately download the rest of the program,
click here
Picture a snowy, icy mountain. Think of the mountain as a social scale where the bottom of the
mountain is where we all start out when we are born. The top of the mountain represents the
best that social interaction can do for you. The top represents things like making lasting and real
connections with all sorts of people, friends and lovers. It also includes greater happiness, a
feeling of belonging in this world and greater understanding of oneself.
All of us start out at the bottom, slowing tracking up the snowy mountain in an effort to reach
the top. We, humans, are extremely social creatures and we all naturally want to reach the top or
get as high as we can go (at least at the beginning). Keep in mind again that the top means all
those good feelings as well as greater potential for real connections among others.
So we all started our track up the icy mountain, happy and eager to see how far we can climb
and how well we can do. We eventually got to a dangerous point on the mountain where we
slipped and fell down momentarily.
For some people, it didn't bother them too much at all. They causally got back up and kept their
eyes on reaching the top. They viewed the fall as an opportunity to learn and figure out what
path works best and what doesn't. Falling down, simply meant that it was a challenge to be
overcome. An experience that would eventually help the person understand the layout of the
mountain so they could continue to try to reach the top. They realize that falling down was just
part of the climb, but the real reward was still the top of the mountain. Getting to the top was
more important than the occasional pain of falling down.
Then there were some of us that were more shaken up when we fell down. It bothered us more
significantly. There was so much pain in falling down that it caused us to temporarily lose sight
of the top of the mountain and stop and see what why we were falling down and what we could
to do prevent such pain. Time and time again, we still fell down and the intense frustration and
pain continued to rise. Our focus shifts from the top of the mountain to our immediate spot on
the cliff. We might try to adjust our shoes or maybe we try to switch shoes (with a better grip) in
an effort to stop from falling down. The frustration continues to rise as does our focus on each
individual step. We focus intently on trying to analyze and figure out why we falling and why it
causing so much pain.
This is the start of social anxiety. The focus is now on the pain of falling down instead of looking
to the top of the mountain - We are trying everything in our power to make sure we don't fall
down or slip and cause more pain.
Sadly, after a while we eventually start to realize that standing still actually stops us from falling
over. If we don't move, how can we fall? So some of us prefer to stand still. It's so long now that
and we've even started to forget the reason why the top is so great. All that matters right now is
to make sure we don't fall over. Deep down, we tell ourselves that once we figure out how to
stop from falling over then we can try again to make bigger strides towards the top.
Standing still is the real life equivalent of social avoidance. Avoiding going to social get-
togethers or meeting people or just going that extra mile to be social with someone. We are so
afraid of falling down that we have simply figured out that standing still will stop us from falling.
Falling is so painful, that we've practically forgotten the reason for going to the top.
Of course we can't avoid all social interaction, so we have to move our feet on that slope every
so often. We move a bit, here and there and eventually we slip and fall again despite such an
effort to keep steady. We get so mad at falling over that we double and triple our focus on our
steps and shoes in sheer effort to stop the pain of falling down. We might try to change our shoes
again or we might just do everything in our power to just stand still.
The strange thing is that the more we focus on changing our shoes or trying to keep steady, the
more we actually fall over. It doesn't seem to make sense to us! We are trying so hard to put on
the best shoes possible and watch every single step, yet we still end up falling and slipping. But
what's even worse is that the more we try to stop it, the more we fall over. How can that be
possible? We get so mad at ourselves for falling over and we keep telling ourselves that we are
an idiot or a fool for slipping after trying so hard. We then focus even more attention in a greater
effort to stop from falling, yet you continue to fall time after time. The more effort we put into it
the more likely we end up falling. We alternate between getting mad at ourselves, then feeling
sad that we are so powerless to stop ourselves from falling over to eventually avoidance so we
can stop all the pain for a while.
This is social anxiety at its heart.
The more we try to stop from falling, the more we fall.
Shouldn't we be steadier the more we watch our steps?
The 1st part of that answer is that we can't control the mountain. There may be a very icy spot
that is just impossible to cross no matter what shoes we can put on. Just like in real life, no
matter what we do, there will always be someone that doesn't like what you say or do or just
doesn’t like you for some reason or another. There is nothing you can do about that.
That might explain why falling is inevitable, but it still doesn't explain why it seems to be that the
more we try to stop from falling, the more we fall.
The reason behind that is that when we get mad at ourselves for falling down or in other words
for being too shy or too scared or for making a social mistake, we create anxiety. That anxiety is
there to try to stop pain from happening (from falling down). The thing with social anxiety is that
most of what we are actually mad about is things like being so shy or being so scared or not
being able to say or do what we want. All those things are basically social anxiety itself. So in
other words we are giving ourselves anxiety in order to try to fix anxiety. You can never fix
something with itself. All that does in just create more anxiety which is the thing that makes us
fall to begin with (getting mad at being shy or scared). So the more effort we put into making
sure our step on the mountain is steady, the more we actually fall. It's a viscous trap, but it is a
trap we can get ourselves out of.
The essence of recovery from social anxiety is to know the difference between focusing on your
footsteps and on the top of the mountain. One will create anxiety; the other will create positive
desire (opposite of anxiety) which will eventually overcome the need to worry about every step.
It's a two part-process. It starts with the need to minimize the desire to focus on every step and
avoid falling down and to increase the good desire to help switch from something negative to
something positive. This program will help lower that bad desire and help increase that good
desire to a point where social anxiety is no longer a problem.
It’s much more than that though. It will get you to a point where you desire the challenge of
social interaction, where social difficulty is a means to bettering yourself and your place in the
world. This is where greater happiness and feeling of greater belonging in this world will start to
blossom. If that sounds too foreign or unrealistic, then you are certainly not alone. When your
focus is on the every step on that mountain and you continue to fall down, the top of the
mountain becomes a cruel illusion - an impossibility. How could we ever reach the top when we
can't even make sure our steps are solid? It's the anxiety trap we fall into where we believe the
only way out is to focus more and more on our steps. Yet all that does is make us fall down even
more. We've forgotten what the goal actually is and how to refocus our attention on what will
help us out the most. All we care about is not falling and anything that will stop us from falling.
This program will help you change from someone who continually tries to hide or change things
about themselves in order to stop from being embarrassed or socially hurt. In terms of the social
mountain, it will help you stop from focusing on adjusting and changing your shoes and never
moving to making significant progress up the mountain. Social desire and social happiness might
seem illusionary, but once you are finished with this program, you will realize that the only
illusion is social anxiety itself. Greater happiness, fulfillment and belongingness are right there in
front of you for the taking. All you need is a little guidance and understanding to achieve it.
If you like what you've read and would like to immediately download the rest of the program,
click here
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